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Eminem - The Real Slim Shady

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May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Weґre gonna have a problem here

Yґall act like ya never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
And started whooping her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwinґ her over furniture
Itґs the return of the...
"Ah, wait, no way, youґre kidding,
he just didnґt say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said...
Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dreґs dead, heґs locked in my basement!
Feminist women love Eminem
"{*Eminemґs vocal turntable*} Slim Shady, Iґm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-who, yeah, but heґs so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But the worse is whatґs going on in your parentsґ bedroom
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but canґt
But itґs cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if Iґm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And thatґs the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a womanґs clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel donґt they?
"We ainґt nothing but mammals"
Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then thereґs no reason that a man and another man canґt elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the anecdote
Win away your panty-hoes, sing the chorus and it goes

Iґm Slim Shady, yes Iґm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonґt the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz Iґm Slim Shady, yes Iґm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonґt the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Will Smith donґt gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records
Well I do so "Fuck him and fuck you too!"
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics canґt even stomach me let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldnґt it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
Shit Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daily and Fred Durst
And hear them argue over who she game head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, heґs cute, but I think heґs married to Kim, hee-hee"
I should download her audio on MP3 and show the whole world
how you gave Eminem VD
Iґm sick of you little girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you
And thereґs a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just donґt give a fuck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Iґm Slim Shady, yes Iґm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonґt the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz Iґm Slim Shady, yes Iґm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonґt the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Iґm like a head trip to listen to cuz Iґm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of yґall and I donґt gotta be frost or sugar coated at all
I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just shitted better than 90 percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
Itґs funny cuz at the rate Iґm going when Iґm 30
Iґll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when Iґm jacking off or jerkinґ
Said Iґm jerkinґ but this whole bag of Viagra isnґt working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
He could be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming "I donґt give a fuck!"
With his windows down and the system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Iґm Slim Shady, yes Iґm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonґt the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz Iґm Slim Shady, yes Iґm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonґt the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Ha ha
Guess thereґs a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, letґs all stand up